ABOUT THE FANLISTING

WHY JAYE AND ERIC?
There's no better cheesy pick-up line than uttering "Your ass is ringing" to a very attractive, somewhat distracted bartender. This, of course, is what attracted me to this potential couple. They represent two of what are very underrepresented demographic in our overpopulated world. Two "Generation Y" inhabitants who haven’t quite met their potential and don’t particularly care to. What better entertainment than watching these two match wits and somehow makes sense of the chaos of what normal people would call polite conversations. Not to mention that Eric’s megawatt smile aimed at Jaye makes a girl wish that she were in her place.... or vice versa.

I'm quite saddened by the cancellation of this very quirky show. It should have been in cable, at least all the episodes would have played out. I did manage to get my hands on the 13 episode DVD. Jaye and Eric's relationship, although very bumpy (by the appearance of Heidi - said wife) does progress. Jaye's hesitation to commit or admit her attraction to Eric and her constant schizo-like tendencies, at times, did endangered her eventual hook up with said loverboy. I especially enjoyed Episode 8 - Lovesick Ass the most. [Synopsis: Jaye finds parallels between her relationship with Eric and that of a Russian mail order bride, whose prospective husband is a thirteen-year=old boy.]. The hilarious episode made Jaye realize that she truly wanted to be with Eric. And screw all her nagging inhibitions.

If you loved the show as much as I did, I encourage you to buy the completed set. If the cost is too pricey, I'm sure you'll be able to find other means. And if you're a fan of this pairing, don't forget to join.

CAROLINE DHAVERNAS AKA JAYE TYLER

JAYE TYLER A pathological narcissist. Attractive, spirited, a trouble-maker with the potential to be a real human being (though she'll go kicking and screaming), Jaye made a high school vow to "end up over-educated and unemployable". She succeeded. Her Philosophy degree from Brown lands her in a kiosk in hometown Niagara Falls selling tacky souvenirs to Tourists. After a small nervous breakdown, Jaye finds herself talking to an inanimate WAX-LION from a vending machine. It has advice for Jaye and refuses to be denied. Jaye is certain she's losing her mind. Over the course of the story Jaye will learn a little humility and compassion and begin to discover that the world around her really is a magical place - the question is does she have to go insane to realize it?

TYRON LEITSO AKA ERIC GOTTS

ERIC GOTTS Boyishly handsome with just a pinch of dorkiness. Eric was a big-hearted innocent until he found his new bride Heidi in their honeymoon suite mid-coitus with the hotel bellman. He walked across the street into the Barrel Bar, cried for three days, got offered a job and never left. That was six days ago. Now, Eric possesses the seductive calm of a man who has faced his worst fears and come to terms with them. And though shell-shocked and just a bit glib - his eyes are finally open. And they are looking right at Jaye. These two have real chemistry together. But since Eric's wounded and Jaye believes she's going insane, they may have to take it slow.

QUOTES

First meeting at the bar.
Jaye: [phone rings] Your ass is ringing.
Eric: My ass rings a lot.
Jaye: Do you ever think about setting it on vibrate?
Eric: I'm not sure I'm secure enough with my manhood to do that. Here... (hands kamikaze) it's on the house.
Jaye: Right on. So, why do you have an ass if you don't answer it?
Eric: Oh well... I use to answer it. I just haven't answered it since I got married, that was like, uh... six days ago. Yeah her name is Heidi, she's obsessed with bed linens. Honeymoon Story: She was my college sweetheart. Married in New Jersey, honeymoon in Niagara, it was like a fairytale. Until I caught her with the bellman in my room (caught mid-coitus). Honey?? I guess the sheets had an 800 thread count and she couldn't control herself. I walked out of that honeymoon suite, into this bar and cried for three days until someone gave me a job.
Jaye hands the kamikaze back and Eric downs it
Jaye: Don't you have work in New Jersey?
Eric: I'm pretty sure they're going to fire me if I don't show up.
Jaye: That's awesome.
Eric: You know... I've been thinking. I'm almost numb enough to start something on the rebound. What do you say?
Jaye: Sweet of you to offer, but I may be clinically insane. You might want to hold out for someone a little more
stable.
Eric: I don't think that'd be as interesting.

Quickie buzz before dinner with sister
Jaye: Pssstt. *Eric approaches* Quick get me drunk.
Eric: Jell-O shooters?
Jaye: Do you have grape?

Sitting at the bar
Jaye: I guess I thought if I could just get my sister laid then the little wax lion might just shut up.
Eric: The wax lion wanted your sister to have sex?
Jaye: I'm assuming.
Eric: Does the little wax lion ever tell you to burn things or hurt people?
Jaye: He's probably working up to that.
Eric: ** Worried smile ** You're just teasing about the lion right?
Jaye: Of course. ** downs a shot **

Still sitting at the bar
Jaye: I think the universe is conspiring against me.
Eric: The whole universe?
Jaye: Yeah.
Eric: Not just the Milky Way or planet Earth, but the entire universe?
Jaye: All of creation. It's a plot I know that now.
Eric: What's the universe plotting?
Jaye: Couldn't tell you. Vanna hasn't turned over enough letters yet.
Eric: I always thought that Vanna White had a big head.
Jaye: Me too actually.
Eric: See simpatico.
Jaye: I think I've been in the bathroom for a really long time.

Looking at the chief daughter's fountain
Eric: Why do we always sacrifice the pretty ones?
Jaye: I guess killing pretty people is easier than killing ugly people. Although you'd think the opposite would be true.
Walks towards the rails and looks at the falls
Eric: You know, I don't get why she just didn't paddle to the other side of the river. I mean it's not that far.
Jaye: She was surrendering to destiny.
Eric: Oh, is that it?
Jaye: You know the office of Travel and Tourism did this whole surrender to destiny promotion in the 80's and some cult used it as an endorsement for mass suicide.
Eric: Really?
Jaye: Uh-huh. A bunch of them piled into canoes and went over the edge. They were pulling bodies out of the river for weeks.
Eric: That wasn't in any of the brochures.
Jaye: There was a lot of media coverage. Surprisingly good for business.
Eric: Well for those of us not in cults, I think there's something to be said for surrendering to destiny. I mean if it's destiny, there's probably a reason for it. Right?
Jaye: Okay.
Eric: So why struggle with faith? Life can be sort of peaceful when you stop struggling.
Jaye: It's a lot like drowning that way.
Both smile, turn to look at the falls, but both steal secret glances at each other

EPISODE 2: KARMA CHAMELEON

Sits on her bar stool after her family dinner. Talking about the bio blurb.
Eric: Hi. Was that your family?
Jaye: Yup.
Eric: You seem depressed.
Jaye: Not clinically. My mother published a new book and I only got 5 words in her bio blurb.
Eric: You got mentioned in a blurb?
Jaye: Speaking to the bass decor talking at her What do you care?
Eric: Thinking she's talking to him replies Well I think that's impressive.
Jaye: Well it's only actually 4 words and a digit. My siblings got 51. Collectively.
Eric: Digits?
Jaye: Words.
Mahandra: I didn't know your brother was in a scholarship? Ahh... you weren't though, were ya?
Jaye: What if I only ever rate four words and a digit? What if by the time my mother's next book comes out the sentence hasn't changed?
Mahandra: It will. Well the digit will.
Jaye: By then it will say that their youngest daughter was confined to a mental institution.

With Bianca at the bar
Jaye: Peeling peanuts This is actually more work than I've done all day.
Eric: Eric approaches them Business slow?
Jaye: Normal, but we've finally hired some decent help. Introduces Bianca Eric this is Bianca. Bianca and I will both have a beer.
Bianca: Y-yes. P-please.
Eric: Comin' up.
Bianca: He's c-c-c-c. He's c-c-c-c. He's c-c-c-c...
Jaye: Cute.
Eric hands the beers and overhears
Eric: Ahem. Smiles at Jaye Anything else?
Jaye: I'll let you know.

Jaye at the bar again
Jaye: I was an idiot. I can't believe I let her get that close.
Eric: Yeah, you don't usually do that do you? Let people get too close.
Jaye: Depends on the person. ** Talking to the fish ** I was tricked. I never should have listened to... I should have tossed her out on her bu-bu-bu-butt.
Eric: Would you've been able to do that?
Jaye: Generally it wouldn't really be a problem for me.
Eric: So you must have seen something in her?
Jaye: Ironically I think maybe I saw a little of myself. But that was before she actually became me.
Eric: She's not you.
Jaye: She's not?
Eric: No. I mean she's trying to be you, but can you really blame her?
Jaye: Blame her? ** Scoffs ** Diagnose her maybe. I mean my crappy life? Lousy job I hate? Well meaning, but let's just say overbearing parents, disapproving sister, a brother who lives at home, but is still considered more successful than I am? Which could be because I live in a trailer that, while it may look like Genie's bottle, it's actually slightly smaller. And a bar stool that frankly kind of leaves a welt? Who'd choose that? Hell who'd even want to read about it?
Eric: I would.
Jaye: You would?
Eric: And if there were pictures, I'd buy two copies.

EPISODE 3: WOUND UP PENGUIN

Late night at The Barrel
Jaye: Oh thank god.
Eric: Telling the people leaving the bar What is it the bartender say? You don't have to go home but you can't stay here. Turns to Jaye I'm working on my timing.
Jaye: Are you gonna say it to me too? Please don't. Because if you kick me out I'll have to wonder the streets 'til morning.
Eric: We are kind of closed. But I'll see what I can do. Let's Jaye in
Jaye: I can imbibe quickly if you need to go home.
Eric: Funny thing about that.
Jaye: So you live in the backroom.
Eric: Technically it's where I sleep. I'm not sure where I live. Although I'm pretty sure I don't live in New Jersey anymore.
Jaye: Weren't you staying in some honeymoon suite somewhere?
Eric: Once they figured out I wasn't going to sue they stopped comping my room.
Jaye: You should absolutely go litigious on their asses. One of their employees ruined your marriage... looks at book he's reading arguably your life.
Eric: Yeah but if Heidi had stuck with the hospitality basket or a more traditional definition of the term room service we'd both be back in New Jersey right now starting our married life together. One bad day and everything changes.
Jaye: One bad sowed and not only does everything start changing, but everything starts talking to you.
Eric: Huh... I don't get it.
Jaye: I'm not sure I get it either. So I like your new place. It has a certain hobo charm.
Eric: I don't know about charm, but it does have rats. The old expression about mice and quiet as, doesn't apply to rats.
Jaye: Just be careful they're not keeping you up at nights with incessant chatter.
Hears thud out in the bar area
Eric: I think they heard us talking about them.
Hears the noises coming from the barrel
Jaye: Over there! points at barrel
They see a person in the barrel. It tips over and the person runs away.
Jaye: Big big rat.

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